The First

The first time I saw you I knew.

You were wearing pajamas and mentioned you hadn’t taken a shower yet.  I didn’t know that was a common thing at the time.  Your hair was different then, short on one side and long on the other, falling down your face.  It was still black.  You were wearing your glasses which was funny because I had only ever seen pictures of you without them.

The first time I saw you, I didn’t know what to expect.  Would you be taller or shorter?  What did your voice sound like?  Were you younger or older?  I’d never really been to Williamsburg before and now, in order to get to your house, I was wandering along dark, creepy streets with very little light and many an unsavory character.


The first time I saw you, you invited me in and gave me a hug and it was one of the strongest, longest hugs, I’ve ever had.  It was the type of hug a bear might give which was unexpected as you were no where near the size of a bear.

bear and carl

The first time I saw you, we ordered Korean as we both agreed it was the best option, but the place we got it from was in Williamsburg and slightly not the best.  We made it work though and started talking about our lives.  We talked about comics and movies and television and we decided to watch an animated movie where The Flash tries to save an alternate version of the world where all the super heroes are at war.  We watched it by the light of a giant Green Lantern.

We sat close and you readily explained any of the plot portions that might have gone over my head and how things had changed from the original comic book.  You told me about the super hero you’d want to be and about how you’ve had that idea in mind for years.  We discussed our past relationships and what was great about them and what was not so great.  We discussed what made us care for a person and what interested us about them the most.

The first time I saw you, there was no pretense of sex or anything more than friendship.  It was very cordial, as if two people meeting on the street and striking up a conversation, but our version of that. You asked me to stay as it was late, but I knew I couldn’t sleep on someone else’s couch, not when they were someone so new.  I left but you asked me to text you at the train so you knew I hadn’t been mugged.  It was sweet in a “Hope you don’t get murdered,” kind of way.

The next time I saw you was the following day.  We hadn’t meant to meet up so soon but I’d had a rough day and you offered to come over.  You met Izzy, who you would one day learn to care for, and you watched a movie with me on my incredibly uncomfortable couch.  You put your arm around me, smooth like something out of an 80’s flick and tension hung in the air the whole night.  You gave me another big hug but this time you held on for a long time.  I told you to leave, I BEGGED you to leave, but you just couldn’t help yourself but go to the bathroom one more time.  When you came back, I kissed you, because at that point, there was just no way out.

The first time I loved you, you had already gone.  I rolled over onto my pillow, laying on my stomach and wrapping my arms around it, the way you know that I do.  Inside the pillow case, on the bottom, you had hidden a bag of M&M’s for me to find, knowing that it was my favorite.

more ms

Now we joke and we laugh.  You train Izzy while I make dinner.  You play guitar while I read.  I draw weird pictures of bears and candy and mice to put on the internet and you create videos with Ukulele songs you wrote yourself.


Our lives have become tangled within one another and I’m just fine with that, because the first time I saw you, I knew.

Happy Birthday Carl 🙂


Due to a trip out of town, Witches is taking a break this week.  That means you get the blog early and a picture retrospective of our Boston trip on Tuesday.  There will be more witches next Sunday so don’t go far.


This post is part of a weekly writing prompt I do with Carl Li and others.  Read his work Here.



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